If I Could Start Today Again
by JaggedHands
Summary: Olivia Benson and Amanda Rollins meet during a difficult period in Amanda's life.
1. Chapter 1

**If I Could Start Today Again.**

 **Part 1 of 2.**

Sergeant Olivia Benson dragged her tired feet along the streets of Manhattan, heading towards her empty, dark and lonely apartment. It had been an awful day at the precinct mostly spent chasing a serial rapist that seemed to have escalated to murdering his victims after doing whatever he wanted to them. Her squad was tired, worn and had lost all hope in human kind after seeing the horrific evidence the perp left behind in his wake.

Olivia, herself, had spent the majority of her day down at 1PP, trying to convince the board and it's members that they were closing in on him and doing everything in their power to find this guy and put a stop to this, once and for all. It was a stern, conservative and dull group of older men, judging her, staring at her and commenting on her every move and opinions during this case and she had started to regret taking the sergeant's exam in the first place. The constant slaps in the face from the committee were beginning to sting and she felt useless and inadequate for the roll as sergeant.

Sighing, she shoved her hands into the big pockets of her thick woolly coat and made a quick decision to stop by at the bar, just a couple of block from her apartment, for a much needed drink of anything with a high percentage of alcohol. She needed a release after today, something strong to sooth and dull her senses, to make her forget, even just the smallest little bit, what this vile man had done to these women.

It was busier than usual inside the gloomy lit, crowded place and Liv then realised that it was friday which would explain the large amount of drunken people, hollering, laughing and joking about. The music inside was surprisingly low since the 70 inch tv was on, showing a soccer match which seemed to be the centre of attention. The dark haired sergeant had no interest in the game but was grateful that the tv was on instead of the music so she could, at least, hear herself think, not that she wanted to think but at least she couldn't hear the cringe worthy teenage voice blaring out the loudspeakers.

She gave the barman a nod and ordered a glass of Merlot. Red wine was her only vice and she really needed one now. Looking around the crowded room for a place to sit, she couldn't spot a free seat anywhere. "Great." she muttered and plowed her way through the rowdy crowd of men and, to her relief, saw a table for two in the corner with an available chair. The other chair was, however, occupied by a blonde woman, probably in her mid thirties, a whiskey glass in hand, swirling the amber liquid around, resting her head in the other. She looked sad and lonely, just like Olivia's current mood and she found herself drawn to her, almost like a magnet.

"Excuse me! Is this seat taken?" Liv questioned, trying to sound as welcoming and friendly as possible.

When the blonde finally turned her head towards Olivia, the brunette was mesmerized by the pale blue eyes staring at her. They were beautiful and expressive, so many emotions trapped in two small orbs and Olivia could tell straight away that this woman had seen a lot in her life, probably too much. Things that a young woman shouldn't have to see. That's when she noticed the tears rolling down her flushed cheeks and her attempt to quickly wipe them away.

"Oh, sorry! I... I can find somewhere else to sit. Um... sorry if I disturbed you." she turned to leave when a husky voice from behind made her stop dead in her tracks.

"You ain't gonna find anywhere else."

She stopped, turned around and raised her eyebrows in questioning. "Excuse me?"

The blonde fought the urge to roll her eyes, leaned back in her chair, sighed and placed the almost empty whiskey glass on the worn and stained wooden table. "I said, you ain't gonna find anywhere else to sit in this joint so you might as well plunk your ass down."

Olivia could tell that the blonde wasn't from around here considering her southern accent. She offered her a light smile and, sat down and took a large gulp of her bittersweet crimson liquid. There was an awkward silence that seemed to last for forever until Liv finally couldn't take it any longer. "I'm Olivia, by the way. And you are?"

"Amanda." she said firmly, stood up and made her way to the bar for another round, leaving a confused brunette behind, sipping her wine, thinking that this woman, this Amanda, was acting rather peculiar. Suddenly another glass of red wine was placed in front of her. "Got you another. Looks like you need something stronger though." Amanda stated, took a swig of her double bourbon while blinking away the tears that threatened to fall any second.

"Thank you." Liv responded in surprise and twirled the stem of glass between her fingers, studying the woman in front of her. "You look like you need something stronger yourself."

Amanda took another swig, letting the tang of the spirit burn her throat. "It's the strongest thing they had. I asked." she was not a woman of many words, never had been and never would be but something about Olivia intrigued her. "So, what made your day turn out like crap?"

Chuckling slightly, Liv took a deep breath and decided to spill her guts. "I've been spending all day, well the past four weeks actually, chasing a serial rapist who is responsible for twelve rapes and two murders, while the board on 1 Police Plaza continuously tries to drag me down, telling me I'm obviously not doing a good job and that I should try harder. The perks of being in charge of my own squad, ugh?" she gulped down the rest of her wine and replaced it with the full one that Amanda had kindly bought for her. "What about you?" she asked, a bit on the reserved side, not knowing if she was intruding on forbidden ground or not but the glossy blue eyes made her want to now more about this beautiful stranger.

Amanda took a large swig and almost slammed her glass back down, spilling a few drops in the process. "My little sister died." she said coldly, stood up again and made her way to the bathrooms. Liv just sat there with her mouth hanging open, shocked at the statement Amanda just made. She thought her day was crap and she could only imagine what Amanda must be feeling right now. She didn't know how to respond or what to do, she just sat there, glued to her seat until the blonde came back and and took her seat.

"I'm... I'm so sorry." she stuttered. "Were you two close?" maybe she shouldn't pry but it only came natural to Olivia to wonder and ask questions.

The blonde held her tears at bay while fidgeting with the heavy whiskey glass, running her fingertips along the rim of it. "Very." she said an took a shuddering breath. "So, you're a cop?"

It was clear that Amanda wanted to change the subject, possibly to avoid the floodgates that were ready to open any second and Liv didn't know if she should answer or try to get something more out of her. To Olivia it was evident that the blonde was trying to hold it together and decided to just let it be and let Amanda cope in her own way. "Detective, actually, for the special victims unit. I only got promoted to sergeant about six months ago."

"Must be tough, handling cases like that every day. To witness the gruesome and twisted things can't be easy." the blonde stated matter of factly.

"Yeah, you never get use to it." she took a big gulp of her drink, feeling the alcohol settle in her system, giving her courage. "How did you sister die?"

Immediately Amanda's blue eyes shot up, glaring at her and she instantly regretted her words but it was too late now. Then, the blonde lowered her gaze and turned her attention to a stained ring from a glass, imprinted on the surface of the table, tracing it with her index finger. "Drug overdose. She's always been trouble, ever since she was a teenager, spending time hanging out with the wrong kind of people, got into some bad stuff. I tried getting her help several times but... you can't help the ones who doesn't want to be helped, I guess. Maybe I should've tried harder." she huffed and downed the remainder of her drink.

"Don't." Liv reached across the table and placed a gentle hand over Amanda's without thinking too much of it. "Don't do that to yourself, nothing good comes out of it. You did what you could."

The blonde stared at their joined hands, feeling the warmth of the detective's soft skin penetrate her own, making her stomach flutter. When Liv pulled back, she immediately missed the contact and felt like she would do anything to feel that warmth again. "Maybe not." she whispered. "Want another?" she nodded towards Olivia's half empty glass.

"It's my turn to get these. Same?" after receiving a simple nod from the woman in front of her she made her way to the bar and waited while the barman sorted her out.

Amanda couldn't help but to stare at the curvaceous body of the tall brunette, how her hips swayed as she walked, how her black skinny jeans hugged her legs in all the right places, her cobalt blue bluose showed just the right amount of cleavage, her hair, her makeup, everything about Olivia was immaculate.

After paying for their drinks, Liv approached the table and sat back down. "So, when did all this happen, if you don't mind me asking?" she decided to thread gently since she didn't know how raw and fresh the matter was. Did it happen last week? A few weeks ago? A month? She didn't know.

"I got the phone call a couple of hours ago." Amanda's voice was cold and distant, even her eyes changed colour to a deeper blue and her nostrils flared as if she was trying to keep it together and not break down or turn into a total emotional wreck. "She was found dead in her apartment."

Olivia gasped at the news and her heart went out to this woman. _A couple of hours ago!_ Liv thought. _How is she keeping herself together so well? How is she able to sit here and have a, somewhat, normal conversation? How is she able to cope after a tragedy like this? Maybe she isn't coping at all._ "I... I don't know what to say, I... I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do? Anyone you'd like me to call? Anything?" her head tilted to the right and her brown eyes softened, showing empathy and concern, so much that it became very difficult for Amanda to hold her tears in check but somehow she managed.

Smiling, she raised her glass in a toast. "To Kimberly Rollins, the most loveable pain in the ass there ever was." they both took a large sip from their drinks as silence fell upon them. Nothing needed to be said and nothing deeded to be done. For a few minutes they sat, across the way from each other, and Liv threw the occasional glance towards the blonde's direction to see how she was doing. She found it hard to tear her eyes away from the younger woman, infatuated by the way she looked and behaved. There was something about her that made Olivia want to know more and she also found herself incredibly attracted to her in a physical way. She had a nice body, beautiful blonde hair with long bangs partly covering one eye and stunning features. She was simply breathtaking to look at, even in her vulnerable and emotional state.

As the time passed they began to enjoy each other's company. They chatted, laughed and told each other things that they had never told anyone before. It was a comfortable vibe between the two and they were so caught up in one another that they totally forgot about time and space and they were suddenly interrupted by the flashing lights by the bar, indicating that it was last call for drinks. "I guess I better stumble my way home then." Amanda chuckled and slurred at her words, trying to stand up straight and cursed the whole world for spinning. "Why is everything spinning, Liv?"

The brunette smiled gently at the nickname she had unconsciously let slip. "Yeah well, just spin with it, okay? Come on, hold onto my arm and I'll get us out of here."

Outside was freezing but Amanda was too drunk to notice. She didn't even bother to zip up her coat or put her hat on but instead she stood there, on the sidewalk, swaying on her unsteady feet while Liv gently pulled the blonde's coat tighter around her body, zipped it close and carefully slid the woolly hat on her head. "Now, you're all nice and cozy. Don't want you getting sick."

Grinning from ear to ear, Amanda leaned in closer to Olivia's warm body. "You'd make a great mother, Olivia Benson." then she groaned and shut her eyes tight. "How is it possible for the world to spin this fast?" she slurred, "I can't keep up. Can't you feel it, Liv?"

The older woman wrapped a secure arm around Amanda's waist, chuckling at the blonde's, slightly amusing, behavior. "Probably not as much as you, sweetie. You have way more alcohol in your system than I do." the endearment slipped from her lips before she could stop it but she figured Amanda was too intoxicated to even register. "Where do you live? I'll take you home." Liv kindly offered.

"No," Amanda whimpered, running a hand over her face and let out a shaky breath. "I don't wanna go back there after... I can't... I mean, I don't think I'm..."

"Okay," Liv interrupted gently, tugging the smaller body closer to her own. "Shh, I just live around the block so you can stay with me for the night, okay?"

Again, Amanda chuckled. "Wow, you surely work fast, Miss Benson. I didn't even tell you my surname yet and you're already all over me like a rash. I haven't lost my touch then." the smaller woman giggled and nudged Olivia playfully in the ribs.

"It's Rollins, Miss Rollins." Liv stated as they began to clumsily make their way to the detective's place.

"I never told you my last name, detective." she slurred at her words and stumbled on her own feet but Liv was quick to keep her steady.

"Well, you said your sister's name and surname, so I just assumed it was Rollins." she held on tight to the drunk blonde as they rounded a corner and Liv could finally see the apartment building.

Amanda suddenly stopped with a lost and tortured look on her face, her eyes filled up with tears and, as if out of nowhere, she let a sob rip through her chest and she began to shake, from emotional stress or the freezing midnight air, Olivia didn't know. "Kim!" the fragile woman whispered into the night, her throat tightening as the realization of her dead sister came washing over her like a big giant wave of pain and despair. "I'll never see her again." she whimpered. "I'll never see her again, Liv. If I could go back in time I would. Maybe I could've done something, anything to help. I miss her. Oh, god I miss her!" she cried and covered her face with her hands.

A couple passed by, raising their eyebrows at the two women but Olivia couldn't care less. She had to get them both home and inside the warmth and comfort of her own apartment, get Amanda to drink some water and take some painkillers, for the hangover from hell that she was surely to suffer the next day and get her to lie down before she collapsed from the excessive alcohol consumption. It was a bitter cold in the air that found its way into the bones and into the very soul and Olivia knew that getting warm, getting Amanda warm, was her priority right now.

Running her hand up and down the blonde's quivering back, she gently pulled the smaller woman with her down the sidewalk, supporting her bodyweight as stiffled sobs wracked her body. "Shhh, we're almost there, just another couple of minutes and we'll be nice and snug inside and you can cry all you want but I need you to hold on for a bit longer, sweetie, just a bit longer."

Amanda was walking in a haze. Her mind and eyes clouded with tears and pain, her head already pounding from all the alcohol her body was desperately trying to digest and then the nauseousness kicked in and she immediately regretted even considering a drinking session like the one she had just had. All she wanted was to forget, to sleep for an unforeseeable future, to not think about Kim's body lying lifeless on the floor, ghostly white and cold to the touch. A corpse, a dead body, a casualty, a life lost all too soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**If I Could Start Today Again.**

 **Part 2 of 2.**

Amanda curled up on Olivia's couch, leaning against the armrest, dressed in the detective's warm fleecy pyjamas, wrapped in a thick blanket while waiting for Olivia to finish the tea that she had started. It was warm inside the nicely decorated apartment. She felt at home straight away as she walked in, a strange sense of peace filled her as she inhaled the scent of Olivia.

The brunette had quickly pushed her down onto the sofa, gotten her some warm clothes to wear and changed into her own sweats. Amanda had stopped crying in the elevator up to the fourth floor and she was beginning to drift off, tired from the salty drops she had cried, so so tired, and she barely registered as a steaming cup of herbal tea was gently pushed into her hands. "Drink this, it'll warm you up quicker." she said softly and got herself comfortable next to the blonde, leaving a foot length between them.

As they carefully sipped their hot beverages, Amanda began to wake up slightly and she could feel herself become more aware of her surroundings as the alcohol was slowly leaving her system. She placed the half empty cup on the glass table and took a shaky breath. "Um, can I use the bathroom?" she slurred, still visibly and audibly intoxicated.

"Sure," Liv pointed down the hall. "second door on your right."

Amanda tried not to stumble but that was easier said than done in her current state. After closing the door she ran to the toilet, pushed the lid up and emptied her stomach just in time as a brown coloured liquid spewed out, causing her to gag and cough violently. The heaves were so violent it caused tears to spring to her eyes and fall down on her flushed cheeks and it didn't seem likely that the vomiting would ease up anytime soon. Now she regretted drinking too much.

Olivia wasn't sure if she should leave the blonde alone and give her some privacy or go and check for herself to see if she was okay. When she heard the violent coughs and gagging she got worried and approached the closed door. "Amanda! You okay in there?" all she heard was another round of vomiting and a weak whimper before she decided to enter. Her heart sank when she spotted the small shivering frame hanging over the porcelain seat, convulsions taking a hold of her body.

"Okay, Amanda?!" Liv spoke softly as she hunkered down next to her and placed a gentle hand on her sweat soaked back. "Oh, sweetie, it's okay. Easy, just try to relax and go with it." grabbing a face cloth from underneath the sink, Liv wet it and wiped at Amanda's tear, sweat and smeared makeup. She still looked beautiful, Liv thought as another powerful heave took control and the blonde had a hard time catching her breath in between. "I'm right here, just let go, sweetie." she cooed and when Amanda seemed to have emptied her stomach of it's contents, her body involontary slumped to the floor, almost hitting her head on the cold hard tile if Liv hadn't been quick in her actions and cushioned the fall.

"Shhh, it's okay, it's over now." she ran her fingers through Amanda's sweat soaked matted bangs and felt her chest ache for this stunning woman. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart." she whispered while the young blonde gasped for air. "Stay put, I'm gonna get you a glass of water, I'll be right back."

Less than a minute later she was back and surprised to see Amanda sitting up, resting her back against the wall, shuddering and crying softly. Liv helped her to drink most of the water before, once again, she bolted towards the toilet for another round. There was nothing left to throw up, except for slimy clear liquid and Olivia gently wiped it away from her mouth with some toilet paper, all while whispering softly to her. She refilled the glass and almost forced Amanda to drink half. "At least you'll have something to throw up, honey, and it won't be as painful."

While Amanda slowly regained her breath, Liv gently wiped the makeup from her face. The mascara had created black circles under her eyes that leaked down onto her rosy cheeks, jaws and chin. Her lipstick was smeared all around her mouth but a good bit of it was still stuck on the plump soft lips. With one hand underneath the blonde's chin to hold her steady and the other tenderly cleaning the dirt and grime of, a normally clear complexion, they locked eyes with one another and it broke Olivia's heart.

The pain and sadness she saw in those blue eyes made her own eyes tear up and her chest clenched tightly. "Better?" she whispered and caressed a smooth cheek with her thumb.

Amanda lost it then. The tender and loving expression on the detective's face was too much and she could feel an overwhelming need to be held and comforted. Throwing heself into the brunette's arms, she broke down in hysterical sobs. "She... she's... she's go... gone, Liv! She's gone!" she wails in agony, clinging onto Olivia like a lifeline, hands clutching desperately at the back of her warm fleece jumper.

She was shaking so hard, Olivia had a hard time holding on. As the blonde cried into the crook of her neck, she reached behind her to flush the toilet and then, carefully, pulled her up into a semi standing position. "Come on, sweetie. Help me out a bit here. I'm gonna get you tucked into bed, alright. It's okay." they made in into Olivia's bedroom and got the crying blonde under the covers, still shaking like a leaf. "I'm gonna get a few things but I'll be right back, sweetheart."

Not wanting to leave her on her own for too long, she ran around in the apartment like a headless chicken looking for things that Amanda might need during the night. Another glass of water, painkillers, tissues, a wet cloth and a basin, in case she needed to vomit again. When she got back, Amanda was sitting up on the edge of the bed, her hand covering her mouth. Quick in her actions, Liv shoved the basin underneath her chin just as a splatter of clear liquid came gushing out, making the blonde cough and gasp for breath.

Olivia stroked her back and hair while holding the bucket, speaking softly to her. "Shhh, get it all out, sweetheart. You're okay, you're okay. Shh, I've got you." when she was finished, Liv helped her back into a lying position, tucked her in again, cleaned out the vomit from the basin and ran the wet cloth over her face and neck. "You're okay, sweetness. Everything is gonna be okay. I'm right here with you." she whispered and covered the shivering form with an extra blanket.

"She's gone, she's gone!" Amanda repeated over and over between violent hiccups and wails of despair, echoing throughout the apartment. She curled up into a foetal position and sob after sob ripped through her chest, tears staining the pillow bellow.

Olivia wiped away her own tears before she laid herself down next to Amanda, opened her arms and pulled her into a warm and secure embrace, placing her head on her shoulder and kissed her forehead. "I know, baby girl, I know. It's okay, cry all you want, I'm right here, right here." the brunette felt the material of her pyjama top get completely soaked from tears and mucous but she didn't care. All that mattered was that Amanda felt warm, secure and safe enough to let her emotions out and express them to the fullest. It was heartbreaking to watch as Amanda fought for air between the powerful sobs and screams that kept on coming in a steady flow and all she could do was to hold her and comfort her.

"Oh, honey!" she soothed, pulling her impossibly closer. "Shh, it's gonna be okay. I'll help you through this, I promise. I know that we don't exactly know each other but I'd like to get to know you and I hope you'll let me be there for you. You're a smart, funny and beautiful woman, Amanda Rollins, and I feel honoured to hold you, to be here for you and to help you deal with all of this. I promise you that everything is going to be alright."

After almost two hours of solid crying, Amanda eventually fell asleep, exhausted from the physical and emotional strain. Liv stayed awake, stroking the blotchy face, running her fingers through blonde knotted hair and rubbed her back in soothing circles before she, herself, followed suit.

When Olivia woke the next morning, she could hear the wind howling outside and, looking out the window, she saw large flakes of snow swirling around in the strong gusts. The next thing she became aware of was the sound of soft crying coming from her right. Turning onto her side, she spotted Amanda all curled up again, back facing her and the small shoulders were shaking from the effort of trying to hold her cries in check.

"Amanda?" she asked quietly and the soft sniffles suddenly stopped. "Amanda, could you please turn around?" all she got was a head shake and she tried again. "Please, sweetie, I just want to look at you, to make sure you're okay. Come on, honey, turn around for me."

Eventually the bed shifted and Amanda reluctantly turned to her other side but avoided eye contact at any cost. Her face was ghostly white, blue eyes were red raw and puffy from the intense crying and dark circles were visible underneath. To Olivia she looked like a small and lost child and she couldn't help but to reach out and cup her face with her hands, her thumbs wiping at the silent tears as they fell.

"Don't hide from me, sweetheart. It's okay to cry." she said softly and opened her arms, yet again, for the blonde to crawl into. "Come here, sweetie, just let me hold you."

Amanda didn't hesitate for a second before she wormed herself into the warm embrace that Liv offered. Once she was engulfed in the warm cocoon she let go of her grief once again and shuddered violently against Olivia's firm but soft body. "I'm sorry." she mumbled almost incoherently between sobs. "I'm so so sorry, I can't... I can't stop, I... I... I don't know what to do, I..."

"Shhh, sweet girl! You have nothing to apologize for, nothing at all. You've lost someone really close to you, someone you love very much and it's going to take time before the pain to ease. Everything is still so very raw, sweetheart, but I promise you that things will get better with time. The pain will never go away completely but it will get better." Olivia could feel the small body in her arms shake and how Amanda's heart was beating rapidly. "Oh, honey!" she pulled away slightly, trying to establish some kind of eye contact with the distraught young woman. "Look at me, sweetheart, look at me."

Amanda could barely hear the soft voice coming from Olivia but after a minute or so she finally blinked away most of her tears and managed to look into brown alarmed eyes, full of concern and care. "I'm here for you, sweetie, for whatever you need."

Swallowing at the big lump in her throat, Amanda made an effort to speak through the wave of tears. "I... I... I wish I could... turn back the time. I wish... I wish I could've done... things differently, then maybe she would've..."

"No!" Olivia forcefully interrupted and gently pressed a finger to her lips. "Don't go there. Don't do that to yourself, sweetie. There was nothing you or anyone else could've done differently. You didn't know this was going to happen, nobody did. What were you suppose to do? Be by her side constantly? Twenty-four seven? That's not realistic, sweetheart. Do not go down this road."

"But... she was my little sister. I... I was suppose to... to look after her." her words came out in short gasps, tears clouded her vision as she desperately tried to blink them away but to no use.

"And I'm sure you did your very best, honey. I'm sure you did. No one is blaiming you so why should you? Don't blaim yourself for something that you had no control over, it will only drive you crazy. Trust me, I know."

Amanda didn't answer to that. The look in Olivia's eyes told her that she was speaking from experience. Amanda figured that being in her field for so long she must've seen her fair share of hardship, injuries and death.

"How is your head doing this morning?" Liv asked gently as she stroked the blonde hair away from a sticky face covered in tears.

"It's up there with the worst hangover of all time." she mumbled between intermittent sniffles and hiccups, finally slowly coming down from her temporary hysteria.

Liv groaned in sympathy. "I bet the crying didn't do it any favours. There are some painkillers on the nighstand next to you, they should do the trick, and drink plenty of water."

"Yes, doctor Benson." Amanda grumbled and did as she was told.

Sitting up, Liv grabbed her robe that hung on the back of a chair just next to the bed and wrapped it around herself. "I'm gonna start some coffee for us. You're more than welcome to take a shower if you want. There are clean towels in the cabinet in the bathroom and I can find something for you to wear that won't completely drown you." she said, smiling gently and headed towards the door.

"Um, I should prabably just go." the blonde mumbled, suddenly feeling embarrassed for the way she had been acting. "I mean, I appreciate everything you've done for me but I was completely out of line and I'm sorry for that. I shouldn't have put you in that position. It must've been really awkward and uncomfortable for you to have some random stranger bawling her eyes out." she sat up and fought against the spinning world around her, bracing herself with her hands on the bed, one on either side.

"Amanda." Liv softly stated, walked up to her and crunched down, resting her hands on the blonde's shaky knees. "You didn't put me in any position. You just lost your sister, honey, and I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through right now. You can stay as long as you want, I'm not working today, not even on call, so I was just gonna hang out here today, watching movies and eat junk food. You're more than welcome to join me."

Amanda tried to swallow the fresh round of tears that welled up in her eyes but they somehow managed to seep through. "I'm sorry." she mumbled, as she lowered her head and placed her forehead on the detective's shoulder, desperate for physical contact and comfort. "I can't seem to stop crying. I'm so so sorry." she sniffled pitifully but relaxed slightly as she felt two strong arms suddenly envelope her again.

"Shhh, sweetheart, how many times do I have to tell you that it's okay to cry. You don't have to stop. You can cry all you want, I'm not going to judge you for it." Liv got back into bed, sitting up with her back resting against the headboard and, to Amanda's surprise, pulled her into her lap sideways, holding her, rocking her and soothing her almost like a baby. "It's okay, my love. We'll just stay in here, watch tv, eat junk and I'll hold you all day long if that's what you need, sweetheart. I'm right here with you and I'm not letting go until I know that you're okay." the brunette soothed as she stroked the blotchy face, resting underneath her chin, gently rocking her from side to side. "I'm right here."

The End.


End file.
